Tim and Jen Live Here

Abridgment of recent conversations (trust me, as long as it is, it is truly abridged):

Me: Maybe getting a kitten would stop Lila from attacking Tabby. Or maybe the new kitten and Lila would gang up on Tabby. Or maybe they’d all hate each other.

Tim: Uh huh.

Me: But if getting a kitten would stop Lila from attacking Tabby non-stop, that would be great. Poor nearly 11-year-old Tabby is hating life right now with Lila around, and Lila really misses Cody. Still, I really don’t want three cats.

Tim: Uh huh.

Me: There’s this cat over at the pet store (aside - this pet store sells small pets, plus kittens that they get who are otherwise unwanted, and they give them their initial shots, plus worm them and make sure they’re healthy - they’re not a puppy/kitten factory) that I’m in love with. But it’s a boy. I don’t want a boy cat. My only experience with a boy cat is a couple boy cats we inherited when they were ~13 years old (but neutered young), and they sprayed everywhere. Plus, I don’t want three cats.

Tim: Uh huh.

Me: So, I went back to the pet store. I still love that boy kitty. He’s so sweet, and every time I pick him up he falls asleep in my arms and purrs so loud I can’t hear myself think. But I don’t want three cats.

Tim: Uh huh.

Me: So, I took my mom and my two aunts to play with the kittens today. They agreed that my favorite cat is a sweetheart. And do you know, the other kittens they have are really cute, but this guy is something special. He owns my heart. But I don’t want three cats, plus he might team up with Lila to torture Tabby, so it’s definitely a bad idea to get him. Except boy cats get along with other cats better than girl cats do, especially two girl cats. But I don’t want three cats.

Tim: Uh huh.

Next night = tonight

Tim (completely unprovoked): So, what are the odds that a male cat will spray, anyway?

Me: I don’t know. I think it’s way less if you get them neutered pretty early. But I don’t want three cats, plus, it’s a craps shoot. He’s staying at the pet store.

Tim: But I hate how Tabby gets picked on all the time and Lila really wants a friend, but Tabby hates her. Maybe we should get another cat to be Lila’s friend. I bet it will work out. As long as we can get rid of him if he starts spraying years down the road (wink, wink).

Me: Sure, because you’re as big a sucker for a pet as I am. But what if he doesn’t get along with Lila?

Tim: He will. And look at how unhappy Tabby and Lila are. Still, when we eventually don’t have Tabby anymore I don’t want to get a third cat, but for now . . .

Me: Really, you’re sure? Cause I feel crazy, and you’re going crazy with me?

Tim: Uh huh.

So, we went to the pet store only to find out that my heart has to live there for at least another day. He has had a respiratory disease, almost getting to the point of pneumonia. But the change in medication has made him almost healthy. The vet couldn’t see him today, but maybe as early as tomorrow we’ll have a new baby to show off. You know there will be photos and videos as appropriate.